you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There are leaves in my underwear?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize