I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my poor anus
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
