How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
