he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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