mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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