Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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