last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
