OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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