So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
