I forgot how hot balto sounded
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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