Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
