I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
