On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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