I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
someone owes me an orgasm
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize