You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
