I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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