last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
