you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
