i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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