Yo dont text me then not text me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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