Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
tonight lets celebrate not being married
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
