i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
