i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
