ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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