everyone is single if you try hard enough
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize