I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
