I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
