God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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