We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
