That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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