Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
