My hand turned me down
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
