I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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