just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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