No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
