hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
