the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
