She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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