i barfeds in our rink
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize