Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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