Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
