fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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