dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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