Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
