five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
