Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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