Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize