i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize
