The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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