he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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