apparently the secret to your success is patron
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
