"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize