My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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