I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize