thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize