I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
